If I Lie by Corrine Jackson

Title: If I Lie
Author: Corrine Jackson
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Release Date: August 28, 2012
Pages: 276, Hardcover

Summary from Goodreads:

A powerful debut novel about the gray space between truth and perception.

Quinn’s done the unthinkable: she kissed a guy who is not Carey, her boyfriend. And she got caught. Being branded a cheater would be bad enough, but Quinn is deemed a traitor, and shunned by all of her friends. Because Carey’s not just any guy—he’s serving in Afghanistan and revered by everyone in their small, military town.

Quinn could clear her name, but that would mean revealing secrets that she’s vowed to keep—secrets that aren’t hers to share. And when Carey goes MIA, Quinn must decide how far she’ll go to protect her boyfriend…and her promise.

Sophie Topher Quinn has been abandoned by everyone. Her mother left her behind when she was little to escape the life of a soldier's wife and her father distanced himself ever since to avoid the painful reminder of his unfaithful wife. Quinn found solace in her best friend and boyfriend Carey until he told her a secret that betrayed her faith in him too. But Quinn loved Carey nevertheless and promised to keep his secret while he deployed to Afghanistan, never realizing what sacrifices she'd be forced to make. Utterly alone, Quinn tries to stay true to herself and her promises when everyone in her close knit military community brands her a cheater/traitor/whore, even those who should know her better.

I'm just gonna come right out and say it - I cried. This book is so beautifully heartbreaking it is without a doubt one of the more powerful contemporaries I've read. When those who should have known better and stood by Quinn's side left her alone to face the wrath of her community, Quinn managed to put on a brave face, push through it and stay true to her word. Her behavior was admirable. She was a strong and selfless and good. Not only did I understand the choices she made, but you also understand on some level the actions of members of her community, which only made the book all the emotional.

With no one left to trust and no where else to go, Quinn dedicates most of her spare time to the local Veterans History Project and finds an unlikely friend in an old wounded veteran. Their relationship bought me to tears, probably because of my closeness with my grandmother. You could tell they really only had each other and it was touching how they took care of one another. This was probably my favorite part of the story.

I loved this book. It was well-done, thought-provoking and emotion-ridden. I felt for Quinn and I was completely swept away by her trials and how she handled everything. Her story was raw and real. She battles with the desire to to clear her name but I found her justification for not doing so is not only believable but a testament to her character. I felt her loss, anger, betrayal, confusion, strength, resolve, love, calm, compassion, etc. And the ending was perfect as well -realistic and satisfactory.